I know the 'rules' ... and I like to break them *grin*, so I'm not looking for 'approval' as it were.
My question is how much would a sentence like this (below) disturb your reading experience, if at all?
"We’re the roadblock, obstacle, emotion and frustration that prevent us from taking the first step"
Thanks in advance
RP
It presumably belongs in a context that would lead us to expect this kind of speech.
People can, figuratively speaking, be roadblocks and obstacles; they could class themselves as emotion, at a pinch: but frustration?
'We're the obstacle that prevents us...'
'We're the roadblock that prevents us...'
'We're the emotion that prevents us...'
'We're the frustration that prevents us...' - no, this one doesn't work. Prevention causes frustration; does frustration prevent anything?
The thing that would really disturb my reading experience is the missing full stop!
Thank you Khai ...
I appreciate your reply. It goes in a book that challenges a lot of things about the world ... actually it's part of my blurb and it is intentional. A friend of mine is 'grammatically' upset by it :)
If too many people struggle with it then I will change it of course, but I think my meaning is clear?
Thank you again.
RP
My reading experience wouldn't be overwhelmingly disturbed by the example quoted unless the entire text was full of them. A roadblock could be considered an obstacle, while frustration could be an emotion. Assuming you were to traditionally publish a text with sentences like this, I think the editor would cut most of it before it even made the shelves.