For what it's worth, I think it depends on the type of impression you're trying to get across. Often speech patterns imply time period, rather than the words themselves. For example, 17th century conversation was very different to today in terms of content and how that was expressed: reading it as it was spoken would probably get pretty wearing these days, particularly when everyone seems short of reading time. I know I am.
It's the same with archaic words. If one is absolutely necessary then use it, though it has to be essential to the story and not just there for effect.
The only other essential when using older writing styles is that the words need to make sense. If you don't mind me pointing it out, your line 'Many a men take birth' makes none. I presume you meant many men are born, but expressed singularly that ought to be 'Many a man...' and you can't 'take' birth. The closing fragment cries out for simplification - you've already hinted at an older style of prose (or poetry) with your first few words so I think what you might consider a too modern 'is born' would work perfectly well.
Thank you Mr. Hopkins for your suggestion.
For what it's worth, I think it depends on the type of impression you're trying to get across. Often speech patterns imply time period, rather than the words themselves. For example, 17th century conversation was very different to today in terms of content and how that was expressed: reading it as it was spoken would probably get pretty wearing these days, particularly when everyone seems short of reading time. I know I am.
It's the same with archaic words. If one is absolutely necessary then use it, though it has to be essential to the story and not just there for effect.
The only other essential when using older writing styles is that the words need to make sense. If you don't mind me pointing it out, your line 'Many a men take birth' makes none. I presume you meant many men are born, but expressed singularly that ought to be 'Many a man...' and you can't 'take' birth. The closing fragment cries out for simplification - you've already hinted at an older style of prose (or poetry) with your first few words so I think what you might consider a too modern 'is born' would work perfectly well.
Best of luck! :)