Character development

by katherine swain
15th February 2013

Any one got any tips on character development..... ive just wrote the following paragraph for a new short story.. how can i make her more descriptive and still make it flow as well?

=========================================

I was rudely awoken by the loud humming of my phone alarm. It was six thirty am and I had to get ready for work. I slowly peeled my head off the pillow, took a deep anticipated yawn, and turned over to face my soul mate Jack who was still asleep next to me.

I ran my long neatly polished finger nails through his silky mousy hair, burrowing my head into his smooth bare chest; inhaling deeply to catch his aroma.

“Morning sweet heart I whispered”, nuzzling at Jacks ear, “I’ve Got to get up now and go to work…I’ll see you tonight about six thirty for dinner” I whispered.

I slowly unwrapped myself from the sheets that entangled our bodies and gently crept out of bed, leaving Jack to sleep a little longer.

He simply was the most perfect person I had ever met in my entire life, perfection in every possible way, an angel, and my soul mate. What would I do without him? I contemplated sadly.

Replies

Did my post reach you? I hit the post button and it was suddenly gone!

Profile picture for user ruth2day_25704
Ruth
Bradbury-Horton
270 points
Ready to publish
Short stories
Fiction
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Adventure
Autobiography, Biography and Memoir
Comic
Historical
Romance
Ruth Bradbury-Horton
17/02/2013

I don't think you need to pad your characters too much. Actions provide great characterisaton, and using your extract I can already picture your character rising and looking down on her partner. If you padded this any more it might become a case of adding words for the sake of it.

I liked it very much. :)

Profile picture for user ruth2day_25704
Ruth
Bradbury-Horton
270 points
Ready to publish
Short stories
Fiction
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Adventure
Autobiography, Biography and Memoir
Comic
Historical
Romance
Ruth Bradbury-Horton
17/02/2013

thanks ashish...;)

Profile picture for user funkymel_25906
katherine
swain
330 points
Ready to publish
Short stories
Fiction
Autobiography, Biography and Memoir
Comic
Crime, Mystery, Thriller
Media and Journalism
Business, Management and Education
Speculative Fiction
Adventure
Popular science, Social science, Medical Science
Practical and Self-Help
Romance
katherine swain
16/02/2013