Any one got any tips on character development..... ive just wrote the following paragraph for a new short story.. how can i make her more descriptive and still make it flow as well?
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I was rudely awoken by the loud humming of my phone alarm. It was six thirty am and I had to get ready for work. I slowly peeled my head off the pillow, took a deep anticipated yawn, and turned over to face my soul mate Jack who was still asleep next to me.
I ran my long neatly polished finger nails through his silky mousy hair, burrowing my head into his smooth bare chest; inhaling deeply to catch his aroma.
“Morning sweet heart I whispered”, nuzzling at Jacks ear, “I’ve Got to get up now and go to work…I’ll see you tonight about six thirty for dinner” I whispered.
I slowly unwrapped myself from the sheets that entangled our bodies and gently crept out of bed, leaving Jack to sleep a little longer.
He simply was the most perfect person I had ever met in my entire life, perfection in every possible way, an angel, and my soul mate. What would I do without him? I contemplated sadly.
A beautiful description is alwz welcome; don't dither to expound your characters or a scenario but do it in a manner that befits the story and looks attractive.
Dickens' novels have all the slightest details of the characters and the scenarios and he has alwz made it like you are living it, not just reading it.
I guess you are doing a decent job. follow your heart, there are a variety of readers and writers out there and all have different opinions. so just keep it powerful and attention seeking.
Cool...yep makes sense..and has given me some ideas!!
The next paragraph goes on to say about her slippers etc.... i suppose what im wondering is, that in my other stories that i have shared, a couple of people have said the characters need padding out! however i was writing short stories with a maximum of 1500 words and couldnt pad them out any more than I had..
others said that the characters didnt need extra padding or that my writing was descriptive enough so I just got confused.. to pad out or not to pad out????? grrrrrrrrr
thanks for the help......
Im glad it seems descriptive enough..... it means im on the right track!! I,ll delete repetitions!!
Cool!!
That passage is so descriptive you don't even let her think until she stands up. I wouldn't be packing anymore description in there. Surely you don't have the room in a short?
Also, you don't need to say soul mate twice. And you call him perfect and then perfection which is also a repetition. Each sentence has to say something new or the story won't be moving fast enough to finish within the alloted word count.
It's too short an excerpt to really see where you are going with the characters and there are certainly no real clues to character there. So she's the type to paint her nails which excludes some activities and professions, but other than that there are no clues. Your descriptions are good but they show the entirely physical. You need to think about the physical movements and traits of your characters which give clues to who they are. So far all her movements have shown she is in love but that provides us with only the idea of a generic couple. I would do it with her next movements. Is she the type to wear slippers or does she walk around quite naturally on tiptoe? These are actions which give clues to personality. Her morning habits or lack there of show whether she is organised or chaotic. Has she risen early enough to eat or will she grab an apple/chocolate bar on the way out of the door?
I hope that has given you some ideas.