Is it just me or does anyone else get frustrated about rules in writing. Whenever I try to do something a bit different, which is I suppose most of the time I get feedback on rules in writing. I like writing that makes me think and question. Ie I just entered a comp that encouraged people to play with structure and the feedback I got was the structure was wrong. I feel a bit lost...
Yeah, Debbie is more or less right- Train of thought: we learnt it in school, so it's a proper structure alright! It's just that, not many people write that way, and not many people read it.
But I like your style, and I wanna experiment with this as well (consider yourself my encouragement)
Anyway, maybe if you're gonna turn this into a novel, it might be complicated, but it HAS been done before, so it's possible (a book called a handmaid's tale- or something like that, I can't remember)
The thing you must focus on is the plot, and how to get it across at the correct point (for this, i suggest You, by s. Glover -I've told you before. She's good with climaxes)
Another point I must agree with Debbie- try having more space between the lines, more "..."s and stuff, maybe. Spacing is important, especially with this style of writing. Too bad this site doesn't help too much in that area...
So, yeah... DON'T GIVE UP, because your book is precious. I know that.
Thank you, I think it was the fact that it was a diary piece they took issue with ie would someone write that way? But I can't see another way to use it. I just entered another piece of work to something else which in the guidelines encourages you to play with structure but in the critique said I should write chronologically.....argh, frustrating.... Take your point about breaking up the prose. Thank you :)
I've read it now :)
I really like the imagery. And it's obvious you can write.
Did they say anything except 'the structure is wrong'? Did they say why the structure was wrong?
Obviously it's a stream of someone's thoughts, which is going to be staccato and disjointed in places, but that's the point. And clearly you've represented their mental issues well using it in this way.
I enjoyed it very much. It's a controversial topic. I especially enjoyed how tragic mother and daughter's relationship was. Very gritty!
Since - as we've been discussing in previous posts - it's hard to get a feel for the format you've used in word etc on this website, I can't see how you've laid the prose out on the page.
I'd like the big blocks of text to be broken up. But that's just personal preference - and you may have already done that :)
Apart from that. Maybe the subject wasn't the competition persons cup of tea? Unfortunately, writing is just that. An obstacle course of subjective opinions. Personally, I enjoyed it and so do others. Just keep going. There's nothing wrong with your writing.
Debbie x