A couple of comments I’ve had (and welcome) on my shared work (Therein Lies the Rub) and which would also be equally relevant to many of my short stories relates to how I depict speech.
Whilst I understand the need to reflect the different language that people would use in terms of their background, education, mood etc., it has been suggested that I depict speech to reflect how it is actually spoken.
e.g. “Yer gonna regret that,” rather than the way I would currently write: “You’re going to regret that,” and leave the accent to the reader’s imagination.
I sometimes find it quite tiresome to read speech written in the former manner and almost (dare I say it?) slightly patronising which is why I’m tempted to refrain from using it – but is this at the expense of realism?
I have been told to suggest a dialect is preferable. use dialect words like 'brung' and 'mush', turmot and the loiks.
rosa.
To use dialect or colloquial speak in dialogue I have been told should be suggested in preference to a complete paragraph of 'ere's and 'appened and the loik. The use of words like 'brung' or 'turmots' also give the feeling of dialect.
rosa.
Stephen King is the master of this, IMHO. His characters are from a place with which he is very familiar, and the accents he uses come alive because he subtly lets you know how they speak, without writing their conversation in their specific accent.
What I mean is, he will write a phrase like: "I feel alive," and then in brackets he will say something like (it sounded like "alahve" in her southern drawl)... and then you get that she is from the south, so you "hear" her words like that in the future. From time to time, King will remind you, but subtly, not too much.
It is true that it is irritating to read dialogue written in regional dialects. The secret is "less is more" and to trust your reader to get the point with only one or two hints, and to draw their own sound from the words you write.