A couple of comments I’ve had (and welcome) on my shared work (Therein Lies the Rub) and which would also be equally relevant to many of my short stories relates to how I depict speech.
Whilst I understand the need to reflect the different language that people would use in terms of their background, education, mood etc., it has been suggested that I depict speech to reflect how it is actually spoken.
e.g. “Yer gonna regret that,” rather than the way I would currently write: “You’re going to regret that,” and leave the accent to the reader’s imagination.
I sometimes find it quite tiresome to read speech written in the former manner and almost (dare I say it?) slightly patronising which is why I’m tempted to refrain from using it – but is this at the expense of realism?
I'd go along with that. Reading a lot of accents can get a little wearing. I've tended to vary character speech using contractions and style rather than phonetics.
I tried the latter only once, for a Cornish workman. It seemed to fit both character and scene though I'm not sure I'd make a habit of the same thing.
And no - it was sensible-ish, not a 19th century take on the Wurzels. Oooo-Arrr! ;)
I use whatever agrees with the characters better. Sometimes it's necessary to go for a 'gonna' with a particular character, but I think using it too often or with too many characters is overkill. And I agree with Asuntha, it's more about what they say and even how they react to any given situation that sets them apart. But if you've got a character that's a little trailer trash, your readers might expect a couple o' 'Yers' thrown into the mix.
I have tried this too- The accented one, it's hard to do, and hard to follow, as well as, in some cases, hard to read. I suggest doing so ONLY if it contributes so some kind of theme/technique to your work: For example- only a certain class of people speak that way, while another class has another way of speech- It would be a sign of class difference; you know what I mean?
Even if you don't try accents in speech, always try and keep the dialogue as real as possible- make characters say what they WOULD say, HOW they would say, in that tone.... This helps with the realism far more than accented speech