Hi all,
If you have a moment grateful that you can let me know - Is this telling?
Many thanks.
Kind regards,
Melinda
“Really? I’m stronger than you think.” Joe wasn’t interested to talk, wishing he’ll leave him alone like the rest. But Jacob carried on. (Is this telling?)
“Yes, it can happen. I broke my ankle when I was yanked back and fell.” Jacob tried to show Joe his scar. But Joe’s focus still on the game. (Is this telling?) Not looking at Jacob he said. “No worries, nothing I haven’t had, anyway they always heal in no time.”
Many thanks, Elsie, very much appreciated.
English is not my first language I do struggle to write it fluently and with limited vocabulary. I am very grateful that I am able to get some brilliant advice here to keep me going.
Many times I wanted to give up, the feedback I received my English is not good enough.
I will keep going to finish my children's novel.
Hi Melinda. Like Miriam said, if it's your first draft don't worry too much. All this can be put right as you learn more. If I could give an example for you, just so you have an idea of show don't tell. How about..'Yes it can happen. I broke my ankle when I was yanked back and fell.' showing his scar. Quickly glancing Joe replied. 'No worries, nothing I haven't had, anyway they always heal in no time.' This probably isn't spot on but if you wrote. 'Joe turned and looked at Jacobs scar.' That's telling not showing. Hope this helps. Keep going
Many thanks Miriam. Yes, first draft, plenty to work on. Still learning.