Can I have your opinions on how to end this chapter please?
1. "My mother's eyes were still open. But her chest was no longer moving and the fingers on her right hand were poised as though waiting for someone to take her hand."
OR
2. "My mother's eyes were still open. But her chest was no longer moving and the finger on her right hand were poised as though waiting for someone to take her hand. As the doctor would later put it "That was that for Claudia Solus,"
My mother's eyes were still open. But her chest was no longer moving and the fingers on her right hand were poised as though waiting for someone to take her hand."This made me reluctant to leave her. i knew she was dead of course but the practical part of me was at odds with the evidence of my eyes. I could still see her the last time she spoke, the last time i had answered her and she had smiled in that conspiratorial way she had.
It came to me that we never really die do we. Bits of us remain. there was something there still. i felt a hand on my shoulder and i shivered. I'm more practical than that.I reminded myself. L
Looking within myself for a shrug. To dismiss it all.
My mother's eyes were still open. But her chest was no longer moving and the fingers on her right hand were poised, as though waiting for someone to take her hand."Death never quite takes all the meaning away.She was gone from the body but i still felt her, willing me to be involved with what was left of the person that I knew.
2nd, though my inner editor suggests ' her chest no longer moved' rather than 'was no longer moving' and you might consider 'someone to take them' rather than 'her hand' again.
Sorry ;)