I know the 'rules' ... and I like to break them *grin*, so I'm not looking for 'approval' as it were.
My question is how much would a sentence like this (below) disturb your reading experience, if at all?
"We’re the roadblock, obstacle, emotion and frustration that prevent us from taking the first step"
Thanks in advance
RP
Oh and interesting about the Oxford comma. Thanks. I've never heard of that.
Hi Lorraine,
Thank you. I like that sentence a lot and I'll run it past a friend who edits for me. I tend to write in the same way that I speak (conversational) and also as a 'stream of consciousness' so I don't always follow the rules, but I'm told it flows well, even if I can - at times - be a little desultory.
I read each chapter out loud at least 30 times to check flow and then get a proof and there are 'still' mistakes :)
Thanks again, so much.
Hi again, Renée,
You don't need a comma after 'emotion': you can have one - it's called an Oxford comma when it comes before 'and' + the last item in a list - but you don't need it. I use an Oxford comma when the last two items are sufficiently different to require a degree of separation even though they're included in the same list. Here, 'emotion and frustration' are close enough not to need a comma.
With regard to the sentence itself, you could have:
"We’re the roadblock, the obstacle; ours the emotion and frustration that prevent us from taking the first step" - which would keep all your original words but in a way that allows them to keep their proper form.