Any one got any tips on character development..... ive just wrote the following paragraph for a new short story.. how can i make her more descriptive and still make it flow as well?
=========================================
I was rudely awoken by the loud humming of my phone alarm. It was six thirty am and I had to get ready for work. I slowly peeled my head off the pillow, took a deep anticipated yawn, and turned over to face my soul mate Jack who was still asleep next to me.
I ran my long neatly polished finger nails through his silky mousy hair, burrowing my head into his smooth bare chest; inhaling deeply to catch his aroma.
“Morning sweet heart I whispered”, nuzzling at Jacks ear, “I’ve Got to get up now and go to work…I’ll see you tonight about six thirty for dinner” I whispered.
I slowly unwrapped myself from the sheets that entangled our bodies and gently crept out of bed, leaving Jack to sleep a little longer.
He simply was the most perfect person I had ever met in my entire life, perfection in every possible way, an angel, and my soul mate. What would I do without him? I contemplated sadly.
lots of great comments..all took on board.. i love the way you condensed my piece at the beginning david!!
thanks for that!
It's old advice, I know, but I find that "show, don't tell" really works well for character development. For example:
"I'm really very angry with you, Merlin!" shouted Arthur.
vs:
Arthur hurled the jug at the hapless wizard, catching him smartly across his lower jaw. "Get out of my sight!"
Merlin raised an eyebrow at Arthur and left silently. There would be time for an argument later. After Arthur discovered the itching spell that had been cast on his underwear.
Just to provoke Dor...
Can we not use the way that one character describes another from their point of view to both describe the observed character and say something (descriptive) about the second?
:-)