First Sentance

by Lily Dooner
26th April 2012

The first sentance of a book is the most important. Well recently I was horrified to learn that mine was 'clunky'. Does anyone have any ideas on how to (pardon the phrase) 'declunkify' my work? I want to make sure my first sentance flows, its something I've always had trouble with? Can anyone give me any pointers?

Replies

I agree with Phil. The first sentence should grip the reader immediately and, in my opinion, should not be too long.

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Peter
Scottney-Turbill
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Peter Scottney-Turbill
27/04/2012

My first sentence, rewritten, the the rewrite was removed. Then put back but later, and then I went back over it and rewrote the whole beginning of the book over.

But, in all honesty, I think the start of the story reads much better now that I went through all of that. Though I am sure by the time I come to redraft again I will have decided on a completely different way of starting the book.

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Anthony Scott
Glenn
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Anthony Scott Glenn
27/04/2012

Here are my opening lines. It's a story about a young Sami girl in northern Finland who is coming to terms with her brother's death. She seeks solace in her native culture. Carving wood is an important part of that culture.

If you're going to carve something intricate, it's best to use a fine wire. You have to file away the minuscule layers very slowly.

And don't forget to breathe. Take the time every few seconds to stop what you are doing, and breathe.

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Jennifer
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Jennifer Harvey
26/04/2012