The Visit submissions

by Carla Devereux
22nd March 2014

Although not selected as one of the finalists, I'm happy to share my submission. I've posted it on my website http://cadasilva.com/news.html

Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

Carla

Replies

Your piece is really good!!

It wasn't what i was expecting at all, it was like, you grabbed the ground from under me! The experience sounds so real and convincing, and I just love the incompleteness it begins and ends with.

I realized only after I read your short story that it must have been a wide range displayed before the judges

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Asuntha
Adams
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Poetry
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Asuntha Adams
23/03/2014

Thank you Leanne for your feedback on The Visit story, and your encouraging words.

Thank you Colin for your feedback on the Beyond Deceit story. I love using metaphors and analogies to convey an emotion. In April I will post The Weight of Regret, a story from the mother's perspective and in May, I will post the story from the husband's perspective. I hope you enjoy them.

Thank you to both for your valuable feedback and encouragement.

Carla

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Carla
Devereux
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Carla Devereux
23/03/2014

I enjoyed the story. You conveyed a great deal in a compact narrative and I just loved that rescuing St Bernard metaphor (or is it simile-I can never remember which is which).

The parallel between being deserted by the lover and the mother is very well crafted and made me think. It certainly gives the story depth for me, something want to learn how to put into my stuff.

Thanks for sharing.

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Colin
McGuinness
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Colin McGuinness
22/03/2014