Can I have your opinions on how to end this chapter please?
1. "My mother's eyes were still open. But her chest was no longer moving and the fingers on her right hand were poised as though waiting for someone to take her hand."
OR
2. "My mother's eyes were still open. But her chest was no longer moving and the finger on her right hand were poised as though waiting for someone to take her hand. As the doctor would later put it "That was that for Claudia Solus,"
I like the second one. It seems to have more of an emotional impact on me.
Second one, the first doesn't sound like an end, or like an end which needs an end )
I like the first ending but with Jonathon's edit. Ending a chapter with this event makes me consider my own spin on those last words.....
"My mother's eyes gazed on. The tide of life out to sea, never to return. Even now with her chest still, lying peacefully at my side, she draws my eye. And like a child reaching up for her mother's comforting grasp I watch in astonishment as my own hand moves into hers. A perfect fit. Just as it always has been"