First sentences

by Jonathan Hopkins
20th March 2013

Adrian posted a question about first chapters, but what about opening sentences? Anyone brave enough to post theirs for comparison?

Since I'm asking, I'll take the early flak.

From Walls of Jericho - 'Louis-Henri Loison could not die.'

From Leopardkill - '"Another dead 'un over here!"'

From Dog Watch (WIP) - '"It is vital, major, this letter be delivered."'

From Hand of the Baptist (WIP) - 'Staring intently towards Valetta's distant guardian wall, General Napoleon Bonaparte leaned against L'Orient's rail, his grip alternately tense then relaxed as the French flagship dipped and rose on a gentle Mediterranean swell.'

The last one's too long, but that's early days yet ;)

Replies

Hi Jennifer - I did read your prologue, which was very well written, if I may say, though perhaps a bit 'literary fiction' for my more mundane tastes ;)

Victoria's first line was good, too :)

Santwana - I also have this problem with death, as you may have noticed :)

All of which have given me a great idea of how to improve my final first sentence. Thanks, chaps!

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Jonathan
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20/03/2013

I just posted my full prologue in reply to Adrian's question if you fancy a gander.

I love the first of your opening sentences. That grabbed me!

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Jennifer
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20/03/2013

'Why can't we move after death?' She looked at the dead bird in her Father's hands.

First sentences are really worrying aren't they? I have agonised over my first sentence and paragraph.

Two of my favourite opening sentences

'Scarlett O'Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were.' Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell

and my absolute favourite

'All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way' Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy.

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20/03/2013