Prologue 1 or 2

by Clare Williams
4th January 2017

Hi everyone

I've currently editing my MS and have had very mixed feedback about the prologue. The consensus seems to be that it should stay in, but I have 2 versions and the feedback on both of them has been quite conflicting - I appreciate people have different pov's. But as of yet no-one has really been able to compare the two together, as only one is ever on the MS at one time - obviously.

So I'd thought I'd ask the lovely people here at W&A what you think.

It's been suggested that the first one may make the protagonist seem a bit too ruthless. And the second one people seemed to love or hate. The gripe being that it gives the game away too soon - it doesn't though, but readers wouldn't know that.

I'd really appreciate any thoughts if people have the time, or inclination to have a look. It's on my shared work. And each prologue is just a couple of hundred words each.

Thanks in advance.

Clare

Replies

Is Gina or the dead man the protagonist?

We have no evidence about the ruthlessness or otherwise of either character, other than hearsay. Gina says the man is ruthless, but that doesn't mean he is. The man describes himself as ruthless in P2 but doesn't give any examples.

So no,

I don't think P1 makes the protagonist seem too ruthless.

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Penny Gadd
05/01/2017

I have to admit that I haven't read either prologue RECENTLY... And I'm not about to on this StupidPhone! I remember that each had its pros and cons, but can't remember which I preferred. Did I say, at the time?

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Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
05/01/2017

Thanks Victoria

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