Prologue 1 or 2

by Clare Williams
4th January 2017

Hi everyone

I've currently editing my MS and have had very mixed feedback about the prologue. The consensus seems to be that it should stay in, but I have 2 versions and the feedback on both of them has been quite conflicting - I appreciate people have different pov's. But as of yet no-one has really been able to compare the two together, as only one is ever on the MS at one time - obviously.

So I'd thought I'd ask the lovely people here at W&A what you think.

It's been suggested that the first one may make the protagonist seem a bit too ruthless. And the second one people seemed to love or hate. The gripe being that it gives the game away too soon - it doesn't though, but readers wouldn't know that.

I'd really appreciate any thoughts if people have the time, or inclination to have a look. It's on my shared work. And each prologue is just a couple of hundred words each.

Thanks in advance.

Clare

Replies

Thankyou John.

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Clare
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Clare Williams
05/01/2017

Hello. I found p2 more immediately engaging, Nathan's voice being more dynamic and hooking me in. The only caveat being, are you giving too much away right at the start?. On a second reading I wonder if the Gina voice created a smoother intro, saving more to come out gradually? On balance I suppose you do need immediate impact so P2 shades it as the one I would go with.

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